What We Really Want

  

We say we want more money. We say we’d like to win the lottery. A better paying job, a bonus, or a raise. We say we’d like our stocks to go up, or our house to sell. More clients,  better investments or passive income.  We say we’d like a windfall, or a book deal.

I used to say things like that, too. I used to say that I wanted more money, more clients, a better house, better car, more vacations and more clothes. 

But now I know that this isn't what I really want. (Except for the clothes, of course... I still want those.)

What I really want is the freedom that I think the lottery would give me.
The security from the better job.
The pride from the bonus.
The confidence from the raise.
The safety of higher stocks.
The independence of selling the house.
The stability of more clients.
The ease of passive income.
The relaxation of the windfall.
The honor of a book deal.

Ok... and... (sigh) what I really want is how I think those clothes are going to make me feel. (Cashmere does feel good. Trust.)

What we really want is to feel.
Something.

And we use the idea of money as a reason to feel that emotion.

We spend huge chunks of our lives waiting for these events to happen. For circumstances to change. For the windfall to arrive at our doorstep.

The problem with this strategy is that we’re not in charge of how the universe operates. Believe me… I’ve tried – and it doesn’t seem to listen to my rules.

We aren’t in charge of where the winning ticket is purchased.
We can’t climb inside the boss’s head and make her offer us a better job.
We don’t have access to other people’s checking accounts.
We can’t make the stock market behave.
Or force people to buy our house.
We can’t command a client to sign up with us.
Or coerce our investments to pay us what we want.
And, we can’t snap our fingers and have a windfall arrive on our doorstep.

Basically, if we are waiting for the stars to align, so that we have more money, so that we can feel better…

We are screwed.

So, I’m suggesting an easier solution.

What we really want is a feeling. Honestly, we just want to feel better.

Feelings are created in response to our thoughts.

The reason why the lottery, the job, the raise, the bonus, the windfall ‘feels’ better is because we would think better. When we think better thoughts, we feel better.

Security, freedom, peace, confidence, etc. are all feelings that we experience in our bodies. (Cashmere is a feeling we feel on our bodies... but I digress.) Each one of those feelings is a response to specific thoughts that we believe.

If we want to feel secure – we need to believe secure thoughts. We need to believe that we are safe. The money doesn’t make us safe – our thoughts about the money make us safe.

We have the power to feel everything that we want.
Right now.

Without even winning the lottery.

We can feel secure. We can feel free. We can feel peace. We can feel confident.
And nothing even has to change, except for our mind.

Not in a woo-woo way. Not in a Yoda-Jedi-Master kind of way. We aren’t talking about making things levitate or appear out of nothing.

This is a very literal and real approach to getting what you want.

Realize the feeling you’re looking for.
Find a thought to believe that creates that feeling.

If you want to feel secure, find evidence of safety around you. Know that you are only ever as secure as you believe you are. True security is the belief of safety.  Knowing that no matter what happens – you will always be OK.

If you want to feel free, find evidence of freedom in your life. Search for it. Free yourself from your mental prison and you will experience true freedom.

Most of the work I do with my clients is the tedious work of finding and proving new thoughts. Finding beliefs that create suffering and changing them to beliefs that feel better. We cut out the middleman. We skip the lottery, the raise, the money and we find peace now. We find freedom now.

It takes practice. It takes discipline.

And it works.

Comments

[Max]

SO great to read this today! Thank you - and Happy Valentine's Day!

[Meadow]

Thanks Max!

[kathleen]

There is security in believing that although my house is not a mansion, it is a home and one I can pay off and live in for the rest of my life if need be.

There is joy in knowing I can exercise, and eat well, and climb a mountain, an remain limber, even though my skin is beginning to sag and wrinkle too much.

I completely agree that feelings are created in response to our thoughts, and that we must root out thoughts and beliefs which cause our suffering.

Here's to the creation of positive thoughts on this glorious Valentine's Day! If we don't have love, we can give love, and that's the best way to get love!

xo

[Meadow DeVor]

Beautifully said, Kathleen. Thanks for reading!!