How to Spend Less

Building wealth (and paying off debt) can be reduced to two very simple steps. Earn more. Spend less.

We all know that these steps work. But many of us struggle with following through. We try to white-knuckle ourselves into a tiny budget, which might work momentarily, but ends up backfiring later down the road. We try to live on cash for half the month and then realize that we’ve run out of money once again, and turn to our credit cards to bail us out. Unexpected expenses derail us. Or we’re so behind on our bills that it seems like we can never catch up.

So, even though “spending less” is a simple solution. It can be very difficult to put into practice without some very clear guidelines.

I teach three basic questions to ask yourself when it comes to spending:

Can I afford it?
Do I truly want it? 
Is it worth it? 

Know what you can and can’t afford.

If we are in debt, we do not own our dollar bills. We are renting them. Whether it’s from VISA, our mortgages, our student loans, or Victoria Secret. If we owe dollars to someone else - the dollars in our bank accounts are not ours. They belong to someone else.  

To truly afford something, it means being able to purchase it with the cash that we own. So, if we don’t own cash, and we are in debt, we technically can’t afford anything.

This doesn’t mean that we aren’t allowed to pay for anything while we are in debt. It simply means that we must tell ourselves the truth: that we truly can’t afford it and we are spending money someone else’s money to buy it. We’ve got to understand that by purchasing something that we can’t afford, we are choosing to stay in debt. One dollar at a time. 

If we aren’t in debt, affording means feeling abundant about the consequences of the purchase. It means the expense won’t wipe you out or put you in a difficult or scarce financial position. It means that you can remain financially and emotionally stable after the purchase.

Knowing what you truly want.

Our true wants are in line with our target. They align with the change we are wanting to make. They are congruent with who we want to be. Our true desires are healthy for us. They add value to our lives. They enrich our experiences. Instant gratification is the opposite of what we truly want. Compulsion is the toxic offspring of impatience and self-sabotage. It disguises itself as desire but this indulgence takes us in the opposite direction of where we truly want to go. 

We might think we want to lay on the couch and watch TV, but what we truly want is a healthy body. We might think we want more cookies or another glass of wine, but what we truly want is to be proud of ourselves. We might think we want a new handbag, pair of jeans or trip away this weekend. But what we truly want is to pay off debt and take responsibility for our long term financial well-being. 

We’ve got to navigate the voice in our heads that tries to sell us on compulsion and instant gratification and have the discipline to rise above it and look at our long term desires. 

Know what it’s worth. 

To understand worth we must understand value. We must understand the value of a dollar, ten dollars, a hundred dollars. Debt drastically skews our understanding of value because we do not see a purchase as a direct exchange. We buy something and close our eyes to what that action truly means. We are playing make-believe with someone else’s money and we are relying on our future-self to do the hard work of bailing us out of our fantasy. 

To understand the value of a dollar, we must understand what it means to us in our lives. What it takes to earn it. What it represents. What we can exchange it for. The power that a dollar holds. 

Basically, we know it’s worth it if we are willing to do what it takes to earn it. 

If we implement these three questions, we can easily change our habits and drastically influence our results. 

When we buy only what we can afford, truly want and value - we effortlessly begin weeding out unnecessary purchases. We simplify our finances. And we make quick and simple strides towards long-term wealth. 

Spending less is about seeing the grace and beauty in frugality. Instead of equating the word to greedy penny-pinchers, re-define it.

See it as an art.

An act of mindfulness.

Full of purpose and love. For yourself and for your future.

Wanna change your relationship with money? Join us for a month of intensive money work.

September Classes:
How to Think About Money (September 5)
How to Think About Earning (September 12)
How to Think About Spending (September 19)
How to Think About Debt (September 26)

Sign up for $99: http://moneylovelife.ning.com/  

For more information about the community click here:http://meadowdevor.squarespace.com/rowdies/

How to Make More Money Than A Drug Dealer

There's been a lot of talk on the Rowdy forum lately about how "hard" it is to make money.

In fact, my clients go to great effort to prove to me how difficult money really is. And how very wrong I am to think that they are completely able to make lots of it.

They tell me lengthy stories of how particularly special they are. How they are the one-and-only afflicted with this abundance-deficiency. How it's just too challenging. Their business is different. Their clients are different. Their service is different. Their product is different. 

How making money is just too difficult. Out of their league. Too complicated. 

And I love these women. And I absolutely understand their stories. I used to believe stories like this too. But it's my job to help them change their stories. It's my job to help show them a different way to approach money.

We are all susceptable to this line of thinking. That money is nearly impossible. Almost magical.

We let ourselves fantasize about the 'easy' life. The one where riches just fall at our feet. And clients line up from here to eternity. And we never have to worry about where our next paycheck is coming from. We have cash lined up in stacks in every room of our mansion. And bling on every toe.

We fantasize about being a drug dealer. (Oh - just me?! Woops. Ok- for the sake of the story just go with me on this one.)

Seriously. Have you ever heard of a poor drug dealer? 

As a career choice - I'm pretty sure that across the board we've been told (by Hollywood - a reliable source) that they make a lot of money.

And if they can make a lot of money.

We can easily make more.

Here's why:

1. When you're a drug dealer, you put yourself at risk of jail, assault or death. 
2. When you're a drug dealer, your customers put themselves at risk of jail, assault or death.
3. When you're a drug dealer, the product your sell is unhealthy and harms and sometimes even kills your customer.
4. When you're a drug dealer, your client base is limited to a troublesome niche of addicts, emotionally irrational and unpredictable people. 
5. When you're a drug dealer, you can't have a website, blog, nor can you tweet. Your business is limited literally to face-to-face recommendations.
6. When you're a drug dealer, you can't just head down to the post office to ship your products, nor can you offer 1-click-shopping. Your shipping and payment systems become extraordinarily more complicated.
7. When you're a drug dealer, you're paid in cash. And that works at the grocery store - but try buying a house with a tractor bucket full of cash - that's a quick ticket to jail. You've got to come up with complex methods of converting cash into usable money.  

So - with all of these hindrances (a few little things like pain, death and jail) - how on earth are they able to make so much money?

Simple answer: they sell something that people want.

This is really important - so let me repeat it.

They sell something that people want. A lot.

Making money isn't difficult at all.

It's actually quite simple.

Put your focus on creating something that people want.

Instead of trying to make people want your something.

Subtle difference in wording.

Gigantic difference in results.

Make yourself desirable.

Make the service you offer desirable.

Make the product you sell desirable.

And when you hear that voice in the back of your mind saying, "This is too hard."

Shake your head, smile and say,

"At least I'm not a drug dealer."

Wanna change your relationship with money? Join us for a month of intensive money work.

September Classes:
How to Think About Money (September 5)
How to Think About Earning (September 12)
How to Think About Spending (September 19)
How to Think About Debt (September 26)

Sign up for $99: http://moneylovelife.ning.com/  

For more information about the community click here: http://meadowdevor.squarespace.com/rowdies/

Reverence for Old Injuries

 

Anyone who has had knee-replacement surgery knows that they need to be careful with their new parts. They know that this old injury can rear its head again easily. They wouldn’t set out to run a marathon without being mindful of what their leg has already been through. Even though they may be healed and they may be able to do most things - there is a reverence for this area of their body. A carefulness. 

If we are wanting to create meaningful and lasting change, we need to know where our old injuries lie. We need to know what 'leg to favor.' Where to be careful with ourselves. Otherwise, we are prone to re-injuring ourselves.

When I was pulling myself out of debt, I got cocky and over-estimated my relationship with money. And with myself.

I thought I was totally healed up. And in a hurry to be better.  

I quickly slipped back to semi-consciousness and fell into the same old habits. My wake-up call was a couple of bounced checks, a deposit that was never completed and a barrage of checking fees due to my negligence.  

Money is an old injury of mine. And I need to continue to view this part of my life with respect instead of arrogance. With reverence instead of superiority.

When I am mindful of this, I favor that leg. I know that I’m prone to injury and to weakness there. I am careful with myself. Careful with my money. And I don’t over-estimate my relationship with it. 

This doesn’t mean that I am justifying my behavior. The exact opposite. It means that I'm aware of my patterns and my habits and know where my strengths and weaknesses are.

Money might not be your 'old injury.' Yours might be food. Cigarettes. Vodka. Or ex-boyfriends.

The point here is to know ourselves. Know where our injuries lie. Don't overestimate our healing process. And know that that we may need to favor our injured legs. And that we might be prone to injury in this area for longer than we think. 

When we respect our old injuries, we show love and care for ourselves and our future. 

And with love and care. 

Time and patience.

We can help ourselves heal.

Daily Self Pride

One of the most awesome feelings that we experience is the feeling of being proud of ourselves. Of knowing we did what we set out to do. Knowing that we didn’t stop or give up. Being able to look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “Yes. I did that.”

Unfortunately, most people set themselves up to almost never feel this feeling. They put ridiculous limitations on self-pride and don’t see what a powerful tool it can be. They dole out a few tiny crumbs of self-pride hidden under a mountains of self-cruelty.

Every single day, we have the opportunity to be proud of ourselves.
Every single day, we have the choice to do that thing. To follow through. To keep our promises.

Ask yourself: What will I be proud of today? And then go do it.

And when you do...

Do not wait until you’ve paid off all of the debt.
Do not wait until you’ve lost all of the weight.
Do not wait until after the entire change has been made.

High-five yourself immediately.
Give yourself the A, the gold star, the blue ribbon.
Be proud of your accomplishment that day.
Flex in the mirror. 
Bow to the imaginary standing ovation.

Whether it was that you made your lunch instead of going out. Or you went to the gym. Or you sent in an extra payment. Or you paid cash instead of using your card.

Positive reinforcement is brilliant. It works. It feels good. And it creates powerful leverage on a daily basis.

Remember: heroes win battles. It’s time to start treating yourself like one.

Desire Beats Gratification

 

To create lasting change our desire to reach our goal has to be stronger than our weakness for instant gratification.

The long term has to have precedence and veto power over the short term.

Our desire to keep our money (save) has to outweigh the desire to get rid of it (buy more shit).

Our motivation to eat healthy has to override our obsession with meaningless calories.

Our ambition to workout has to nullify our love affair with the couch.

This is about the long-haul. Our target. Our mission.

If we don’t want it enough. We won’t get it. Period.