Going through a breakup can be an incredibly challenging and painful experience. Whether you initiated the breakup or were on the receiving end, both sides of the breakup often experience hurt and emotional turmoil. However, it's important to remember that healing and rebuilding self-worth is possible. Here are the four essential steps to help you navigate this difficult journey and emerge stronger and more confident than ever before.
Heartbreaks and Triumphs
I think I have PTSD from Valentine's Day. Those years spent as a single mom were some of the best years of my life but also some of the most lonely and painful. When every magazine, TV show and social network was bantering on about romance, I just wanted to slink off and hide until the whole thing was over with.
Don't get me wrong, I did great things with my daughter. We'd go out to dinner and to the movies. We'd get flowers and decorate the dining room table. I did my best to create a version of Valentines Day that worked for us. But honestly, it still hurt.
Independence Day
Last winter, my heart was broken. Someone I loved very much walked out of my life. Out of my daughter's life.
He gave no reason.
He just bailed.
And for months after, I tried to heal. I tried to forgive. I tried to forget.
I tried to pick up the pieces of my heart and scotch-tape them back together.
My chest literally hurt. My rib cage ached. I felt haunted by the Ghost of Relationships Past. Everything I did. Everywhere I went. He was there.
I came to realize this heavy brick on my sternum was grief.
And that it is normal.
And that it sucks.
How To Let Go
I know how to hold on.
How to push. Force. Sweat. Grunt. Dig deep. Grit my teeth. And get shit done.
I'm fiercely talented at keeping a grudge alive.
I know how to stay focused. Eyes on the prize. Nose to the grindstone.
I don't give up. Nor do I give in. Until the universe beats it into me.
Surrender's just not my strong-suit.
And sometimes this strength has moved mountains in my life. It's gotten me through death and divorce. It has finished a marathon, published two books, and paid off more than a half-million in debt.
But sometimes this strength has been my weakest link.
Because anything too rigid.
Can break.
And I did. Well, my heart did.
I Am Not Afraid
No.
I am not afraid.
I’m not afraid of what it means to live my life. To live as me. To speak my truth. To hold myself accountable.
To have my heart seen. Unsheltered.
To share the stories of my wounds. And my mending.
To utter words of intimacy. So thick. Only the strongest of souls will be left standing to witness them.
Because I have been to the bottom of the burning torch lake. I have lost my voice. My breath. My sight. My ability to move. And slowly sunk in complete surrender to what the mother would do with me.
And when I found rest. And opened my eyes to the cold light. I was given the gift of vision. And instead of the eyes of another. I now only see the flicker of mine reflected.
Moon Prayers
I said a prayer for my heart tonight.
I felt that cold seeping in.
The inky blackness that hides in my veins. Just waiting for a call to duty. To harden and cement a barrier so thick that I will be protected from this hurt.
The white hot barbed-wire that courses from my gut. Twisting and turning a tangled rusted knot. Weaving itself a corset through my rib cage. Suffocating and stifling. Tighter. Till there were only two words.
Love me.