body love

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Five Things I Thought I'd Never Be Thankful For

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Five Things I Thought I'd Never Be Thankful For

race yourself.

This isn't going to be a typical Thanksgiving post full of positivity-lite and generic gratitude.

Ironic, because I find myself in a place in my life where I have never been more happy. Or more grateful. And I could easily write a piece on how beautiful my life is and how thankful I am for that. To which you could roll your eyes. Or burn with jealousy. Or give me a standing ovation.

And I honestly don't think it would do either of us any good.

So, I thought about what I'd really like to share with you. What gratitude really means to me. And what giving thanks actually looks like in my life.

It's easy to be thankful for the "good stuff." A loving and kind man. Healthy kids. Career success. Strong body. Great friends. Beautiful home. 

It's easy to be thankful for the "simple stuff." A hot cup of coffee. Warm fuzzy socks. The song of the black bird outside my window. Amazon Prime. 

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I Am Not Afraid

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I Am Not Afraid

No. 

I am not afraid.

I’m not afraid of what it means to live my life. To live as me. To speak my truth. To hold myself accountable. 

To have my heart seen. Unsheltered.

To share the stories of my wounds. And my mending.

To utter words of intimacy.  So thick. Only the strongest of souls will be left standing to witness them.

Because I have been to the bottom of the burning torch lake. I have lost my voice. My breath. My sight. My ability to move. And slowly sunk in complete surrender to what the mother would do with me.

And when I found rest. And opened my eyes to the cold light.  I was given the gift of vision. And instead of the eyes of another. I now only see the flicker of mine reflected.

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Gotta Love The Thing You Hate

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You can’t hate your bank account into being rich. You can’t criticize your body into being thin. You can’t resent your career into success. And you can’t bitch your relationship into true everlasting love.

But people try to do this every day. People like you. People like me.

We focus on things we don’t like. And we think that this focus is what facilitates change. As if hating something enough will make it disappear.

This hate, resent, criticizing and bitching that we practice creates a tremendous amount of un-needed suffering for us. It makes our lives more complicated. It creates an incredible emotional burden. And it has zero payoff. This strategy is a guaranteed fail. 

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No One Is Going To Save You

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Let’s get this straight.

I have never been a docile, passive or victim-y person. I have never appeared to be the damsel-in-distress-type. I’ve always had my snappy comebacks.  My audaciously loud laugh. My sassy independence.

Yet for most of my adult life, concealed behind the tough exterior, was a woman (girl) secretly waiting to be saved.

I believed that if I just had the right guy. Or the right job. Or the right body. Or the right family.

Or maybe if I lived in the right place. Or fell into enough money.

That everything would be ok. That I would finally be safe.

Lovable.

That I would feel at home. That I would belong.

How To Stop Being A Loser

How To Stop Being A Loser

I don’t care if we’re talking about business, money, marriage or bodies. Look at every single person that is at the top of their game and you will see someone who has put in the hard work.

Too many of us avoid hard work because of the story we have about it. We tell ourselves that it’s too painful. It takes too much time. It won’t make a difference anyway. We think that by just showing up and passively going through the motions - that we’ll somehow arrive at success.

Go to my gym and look at the line-up of women on the cardio machines. On any given morning you’ll see Slumpie. She’s the woman bent over the magazine. Holding the sidebars to keep any discomfort at bay. Hunched over - not a bead of sweat. She passively spends an hour of her life. Daily.  And has been doing this for months. 

Reverence For Old Injuries

Reverence For Old Injuries

Anyone who has had knee-replacement surgery knows that they need to be careful with their new parts. They know that this old injury can rear its head again easily. They wouldn’t set out to run a marathon without being mindful of what their leg has already been through. Even though they may be healed and they may be able to do most things - there is a reverence for this area of their body. A carefulness. 

If we are wanting to create meaningful and lasting change, we need to know where our old injuries lie. We need to know what 'leg to favor.' Where to be careful with ourselves. Otherwise, we are prone to re-injuring ourselves.

When I was pulling myself out of debt, I got cocky and over-estimated my relationship with money. And with myself.

I thought I was totally healed up. And in a hurry to be better.  

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Raise The Roof

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Raise The Roof

Getting out of debt isn’t easy.

And, it’s not supposed to be.

We get into debt slowly.

Unconsciously.

Mindlessly.

And then, we get used to being in debt.

We tolerate it.

Until it seems normal.

Comfortable even.

 

If we want to raise the roof on our net worth.

If we want to really get out of debt.

We’ve got to be willing to do the difficult.

Even the impossible.

We can’t expect to stay unconscious.

We can’t expect to mindlessly, comfortably, gently walk our way to being debt free.

Nope.

 

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My Body Knows

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My Body Knows

My heart knows...

what it wants. It knows that love is really the only option. It knows why I am here and what my life is about.

My legs know...

how to walk. How to dance. How to run and jump. My legs know how to take me anywhere I want to go.

My feet know...

that I love the warm. The sun. The sand. They know when I've stood too long in the same place and when it's time to move. They know how many miles they have walked.