Boundaries, Personal Development, Self-Worth, Relationships, Communication & Response, Narcissistic Behavior
Meadow DeVor
5 Clues to Spot Gaslighting in Conversation

Narcissists use subtle gaslighting tactics that sound normal but leave you doubting yourself. From guilt trips to silent control, this blog breaks down 5 ways they manipulate conversations—and how to protect your truth. If you’ve ever felt worse after talking with them, this explains why.

Boundaries, Personal Development, Relationships
Meadow DeVor
3 Facial Clues That Expose a Narcissist

Today, I’ll show you 3 facial clues that narcissists can’t hide, explain why your instincts alert you to these signs, and, since Meghan Markle is a woman often labeled as narcissistic, we’ll examine whether these red flags appear on her face—or if they’re just a coincidence.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
When the Narcissist Lies to You... Do This

When you're dealing with a narcissist, spotting their lies and exposing the truth can save you from years of manipulation, stress, and emotional abuse. Learn 3 simple questions that expose their lies, what you need to say to always get the truth, and the one word that unravels their whole act.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
3 Signs an Avoidant is a Narcissist in Disguise

How do you know if someone has an avoidant attachment style, or if you’re actually dealing with a narcissist in disguise? Today, I’ll share simple ways to tell if an avoidant is actually a narcissist in disguise, real life examples of how to spot the difference, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth
Meadow DeVor
5 Mind Games Narcissists Play

The mind games of a narcissist can be difficult to spot, and if you don't understand them, you could lose your job, your family, or the relationships you love most. Today, I'll share 5 mind games that narcissists play, real life examples of how to spot them, and simple strategies to empower you in any situation.

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Lost Luggage

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Lost Luggage

I was in some form of debt for nearly 20 years. 

The last three years of my life have been dedicated to radical debt eradication.

I didn't realize it at the time - but debt was kind of like my baby.

I thought about it constantly.

I would strategize about how to pay it down.

I would run numbers in my head.

I had a running calculation everytime I spent money.

Or made money.

I was obsessed.

This wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

It kept me passionate.

It kept me focused.

It provided momentum and motivation.

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One Wild And Precious Life

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One Wild And Precious Life

I used to wish that life was easier.

More fair.

I secretly wanted to be rescued. Or saved. Or at least have someone help me carry the weight of my journey here on this planet.

Maybe a man. A career. A friend. Fame. Money.

Could do the hard stuff for me.

So I tried subletting my life.

I tried to give away the property rights to my own self.

I tried handing over the responsibility.

The decisions.

And I found that I couldn't do it.

I can't be saved.

I can't be rescued.

And I don't want my life to be easier.

$571,817.68 Down And $0 To Go

571,817.68 is a lot of dollars.

On January 18, 2009, this is how much I owed in debt.

After a decade of living beyond my means.

A couple of lousy real estate transactions.

And a failed marriage.

 

I have carried this debt for nearly three years.

Watching each month as the numbers crawled toward zero.

And yesterday, I made my very last payment.

New balance: $0.00.

 

If I stacked 571,817 dollar bills into a pile and weighed it - it would be 1,167 pounds.

 

That's literally HALF a ton.

The debt I carried weighed as much as a grizzly bear.

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My Body Knows

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My Body Knows

My heart knows...

what it wants. It knows that love is really the only option. It knows why I am here and what my life is about.

My legs know...

how to walk. How to dance. How to run and jump. My legs know how to take me anywhere I want to go.

My feet know...

that I love the warm. The sun. The sand. They know when I've stood too long in the same place and when it's time to move. They know how many miles they have walked. 

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My Daughter Wants A New Mom

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In 2011, a few years into single-motherhood, my daughter (9 years old at the time) told me that she didn’t want me to be her mom anymore. This post was written late one night during one of the worst times of my life. Here’s the original post. Scroll down to see my update, written 12 years later.

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What I Learned From A Bad Ass Three-Year-Old

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What I Learned From A Bad Ass Three-Year-Old

He's wearing a striped polo shirt with camouflage shorts and a ball cap. As if he's ready to go to war for a country club. 

 

His mom is pitching. Major league style.


Overhand. Fast.

 

The bat is taller and heavier than he is.

 

He swings.

Hits it.

And keeps twisting.

And falls down backwards.

 

She chases the ball.

 

He gets up. Runs the imaginary bases with his arms up.

 

Home run.

Celebration.

 

How can I not fall in love with this kid?

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What I Learned From A Teddy Bear And A Tile Floor

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What I Learned From A Teddy Bear And A Tile Floor

I need your support.
You're not helping me enough.
I shouldn't have to do this all by myself.

How many times have we said this?

To our husbands. Coworkers. Family. Friends.

It's really just a fancy way to say:

You should be making my life easier.

We point our finger at the people around us and give them the job of taking the difficulty out of our existence. As if that is even possible.

And when our life doesn't feel easier - we blame them.

We say we aren't supported.

We say they should be doing more.

But the only way to feel anything is to think the thought that creates it. When we give another person the job of making us feel, we create immense suffering for ourselves.

Every time.

Saying Goodbye To Nancy

Saying Goodbye To Nancy

Five years ago, summer of 2006, I bought a house. On Nancy Avenue.

Well, more accurately, I mortagaged a house. 

And then, two and half years ago, I moved out of that house.

This past Friday, I finally paid the last dollar I owed for it.

The Nancy House was a very hard lesson learned.

If I had a way to deliver a letter to my 2006-self. One that could spare her from making this decision. One that could save her unnecessary suffering.

This is what I'd say:

 

Do You Rent Or Own?

Do You Rent Or Own?

And no, I'm not talking about houses here.

I'm talking about your money.

I'm talking about my money.

Do you own your money? Or do you rent your money?

For the past 19 years, I've been renting my money.

For the past 19 years, I've been in debt in one way or another. Car loans, students loans, credit cards, mortgages, equity lines, business loans, and personal loans.

For the past 19 years, I've been paying other people for the privilege (seriously makes me want to gag) to rent their money.

Chase United Mileage Plus card offered me a deal to rent their money. And as a bonus for renting, I got a few miles and ended up taking a few trips that required me to rent even more money.