We talk about the 3 traps that covert narcissists use to manipulate you through money, to make you feel guilty for your success, and to keep you enmeshed in a relationship where they can depend on you. We get into the subtle yet profound ways covert narcissists manipulate relationships to keep you financially dependent and emotionally tethered and how to break free from these toxic cycles.
3 Reasons You Don’t Make the Money You Deserve
Discover why you're not earning what you deserve: Learn to spot hidden signs of undervaluing yourself, understand the impact of past experiences on financial worth, and explore effective strategies to confidently ask for and receive the compensation you truly deserve.
Reverence For Old Injuries
Anyone who has had knee-replacement surgery knows that they need to be careful with their new parts. They know that this old injury can rear its head again easily. They wouldn’t set out to run a marathon without being mindful of what their leg has already been through. Even though they may be healed and they may be able to do most things - there is a reverence for this area of their body. A carefulness.
If we are wanting to create meaningful and lasting change, we need to know where our old injuries lie. We need to know what 'leg to favor.' Where to be careful with ourselves. Otherwise, we are prone to re-injuring ourselves.
When I was pulling myself out of debt, I got cocky and over-estimated my relationship with money. And with myself.
I thought I was totally healed up. And in a hurry to be better.
Saturation Point
I want it.
But how much should I spend on it?
I used to just spend what I wanted. When I wanted to. Without giving thought to how much I was spending.
I used to believe that spending more meant I was buying higher quality. And that spending less meant a better deal.
I didn’t give conscious thought to what I wanted to spend. I allowed the item, or the situation, to dictate its price to me - and I blindly followed.
I reacted to situations. I reacted to the price tag. I justified something if I wanted it enough.
I didn’t have my own personal idea about value. Or about what something was worth to me. Or about what the exchange of dollars really meant.
I was living in the world of instant gratification.
If I wanted something. I got it. And most of the time I didn’t even look at the price tag.
This is the very foundation of impulse buying.
If you haven’t taken the time to know what you want. And you haven’t consciously decided how much you’d like to spend.
No worries.
Marketers will decide for you.
They know that they can seduce you with a sale.
Or a brightly placed display.
Or an “Only 3 left.”
They know that they can tell you why it’s urgent to spend. Now. This much.
And that it works.
What A Lemon Tree Taught Me About Mon
I have an over-achieving lemon tree in my back yard.
It's a small tree. It doesn't take up a lot of space.
But it is serious about lemon production.
It's not like a regular citrus tree with its arms reaching up to the sun. It more like a weeping willow with heavy lemon-laden branches.
There are at least five hundred lemons on it right now. (I didn't count... just go with my story here.)
When I first moved in, it was spring.
I thought lemons were in season.
And I picked tons of them.
And tried to use them all.
And then they rotted on my counter tops.
And the lemon tree kept on making lemons.
Summer came.
Still lemon season.
I ignored the tree.