Money

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Gotta Love The Thing You Hate

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You can’t hate your bank account into being rich. You can’t criticize your body into being thin. You can’t resent your career into success. And you can’t bitch your relationship into true everlasting love.

But people try to do this every day. People like you. People like me.

We focus on things we don’t like. And we think that this focus is what facilitates change. As if hating something enough will make it disappear.

This hate, resent, criticizing and bitching that we practice creates a tremendous amount of un-needed suffering for us. It makes our lives more complicated. It creates an incredible emotional burden. And it has zero payoff. This strategy is a guaranteed fail. 

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No One Is Going To Save You

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Let’s get this straight.

I have never been a docile, passive or victim-y person. I have never appeared to be the damsel-in-distress-type. I’ve always had my snappy comebacks.  My audaciously loud laugh. My sassy independence.

Yet for most of my adult life, concealed behind the tough exterior, was a woman (girl) secretly waiting to be saved.

I believed that if I just had the right guy. Or the right job. Or the right body. Or the right family.

Or maybe if I lived in the right place. Or fell into enough money.

That everything would be ok. That I would finally be safe.

Lovable.

That I would feel at home. That I would belong.

How To Spend Less

How To Spend Less

Building wealth (and paying off debt) can be reduced to two very simple steps. Earn more. Spend less.

We all know that these steps work. But many of us struggle with following through. We try to white-knuckle ourselves into a tiny budget, which might work momentarily, but ends up backfiring later down the road. We try to live on cash for half the month and then realize that we’ve run out of money once again, and turn to our credit cards to bail us out. Unexpected expenses derail us. Or we’re so behind on our bills that it seems like we can never catch up.

So, even though “spending less” is a simple solution. It can be very difficult to put into practice without some very clear guidelines.

I teach three basic questions to ask yourself when it comes to spending:

Can I afford it?
Do I truly want it? 
Is it worth it? 

Reverence For Old Injuries

Reverence For Old Injuries

Anyone who has had knee-replacement surgery knows that they need to be careful with their new parts. They know that this old injury can rear its head again easily. They wouldn’t set out to run a marathon without being mindful of what their leg has already been through. Even though they may be healed and they may be able to do most things - there is a reverence for this area of their body. A carefulness. 

If we are wanting to create meaningful and lasting change, we need to know where our old injuries lie. We need to know what 'leg to favor.' Where to be careful with ourselves. Otherwise, we are prone to re-injuring ourselves.

When I was pulling myself out of debt, I got cocky and over-estimated my relationship with money. And with myself.

I thought I was totally healed up. And in a hurry to be better.  

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Daily Self Pride

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Daily Self Pride

One of the most awesome feelings that we experience is the feeling of being proud of ourselves. Of knowing we did what we set out to do. Knowing that we didn’t stop or give up. Being able to look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “Yes. I did that.”

Unfortunately, most people set themselves up to almost never feel this feeling. They put ridiculous limitations on self-pride and don’t see what a powerful tool it can be. They dole out a few tiny crumbs of self-pride hidden under a mountains of self-cruelty.

Every single day, we have the opportunity to be proud of ourselves.
Every single day, we have the choice to do that thing. To follow through. To keep our promises.

Ask yourself: What will I be proud of today? And then go do it.

 

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Stay Conscious

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Stay Conscious

Accidental success doesn’t exist.
No one accidentally pays off their debt.
Or writes a best-seller.
No one accidentally runs a marathon.
Or loses a hundred pounds.
No one accidentally becomes the President.
Or treks across Antarctica.

But accidental defeat happens every day. It is the product of unconsciousness. It’s the result of not paying attention. Of closing our eyes. Of sleep walking. Of being on auto pilot.

It’s the result of multi-tasking ourselves through a scattered and non-focused life. It’s what happens when we aren’t paying attention.

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Radical Action

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Radical Action

Once we know the truth, our decision has been made and our target is in focus -  it’s time for our next move. Radical Action.

Radical Action is doing anything and everything to jumpstart the change process.

We must become a fanatic. We must be willing to create significant and extreme change. Now.

Radical Action means sacrificing more than we ever want to. And working harder than we ever thought possible. It’s about stretching our strength. Our resolve. 

It’s a memo to the universe that we’re serious. And that we’ll do what it takes.

It seals our self-promise in blood. Sweat. Maybe even tears.

If we’re not serious about changing, this step will be painful. Maybe even excruciating. It will eventually cripple us. And stop us in our tracks.

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Set Your Target

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Set Your Target

The process of creating change is a temporary condition. 

It begins with the decision to change the status quo. It continues as you undergo the procedures, efforts, consequences and actions of creating The Change. And, it terminates at the point where The Change has been made. 

Our Target is the point where present tense becomes past tense. We are no longer changing. We’ve changed. 

The debt isn’t being paid off. It has been paid off.
We’re no longer losing weight. The weight has been lost.
We’re not quitting. We’ve quit.
We’re not starting. We’re doing it.

The target isn’t The End.

This is only a target to reach. It’s a fixed point with a clear definition. 

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Tell The Truth

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Tell The Truth

If you want to make a big change. Pay off debt. Build wealth. Lose weight. Start a habit. Or break one.

You must understand the difference between lying and telling the truth. I’m not just talking about lying to other people. Or about lying to ourselves. 

I’m talking about pretending. Faking it. Wishing it was true. Trying to sound optimistic. Looking at the bright side. Acting ‘as if.’ Exaggerating. Minimizing. Fudging. Rounding up. Or down. Bullshitting. Fabricating. Distorting. Spinning. Misrepresenting. Omitting details. Cheating. Being polite. Playing nice. Putting on a smile. Fantasizing. Embellishing. Romanticizing. And all the other ways that we manipulate strings of words in our minds and contort our lives to try to make ourselves (and other people) feel better.

To really change. We’ve got to understand where the truth ends and a lie begins. And we’ve got to learn that this isn’t a fine line. Or a flimsy one. Or a flexible one.

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Raise The Roof

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Raise The Roof

Getting out of debt isn’t easy.

And, it’s not supposed to be.

We get into debt slowly.

Unconsciously.

Mindlessly.

And then, we get used to being in debt.

We tolerate it.

Until it seems normal.

Comfortable even.

 

If we want to raise the roof on our net worth.

If we want to really get out of debt.

We’ve got to be willing to do the difficult.

Even the impossible.

We can’t expect to stay unconscious.

We can’t expect to mindlessly, comfortably, gently walk our way to being debt free.

Nope.